One of my oldest friends is the CEO of a company that employs over a thousand people. Logically, this makes sense. We are in our late 30s, and this friend of mine has worked hard for as long as I’ve known him, putting his business acumen and knack for social connection to good use. He worked his way through college and was one of the first people I knew who got an MBA. Of course he’s doing well for himself.
“Leadership is not about being in charge. It is about taking care of those in your charge.”
Simon Sinek, Author
But at the same time, it is genuinely baffling to me that the person with whom I watched the Season One finale of The O.C. is now settled into executive management. One moment, you’re riding on a party bus to prom with someone, and the next, they’re getting invited to give keynotes at events with the word “Expo” in the title. If I feel this way, I imagine people older than me have an even tougher time wrapping their heads around the fact that millennials are already the majority of managers and are well on their way to becoming the largest cohort of executives.
We millennials get a bad wrap. People think we’re lazy and entitled, and while I’d like to get onto my soapbox and explain all the ways those characterizations aren’t fair, I’ll just say this: You don’t become an exec by complaining about avocado toast or whatever new insult we’re weathering today. And yet, if you’re a millennial in a managing role, you’re going to face pushback. Here are some tips to disrupt the workplace—making the most of your unique skills, experiences and perspectives—without outright disgruntling your employees.
Enter Executive Management With Tact & Grace
I have been managed by two millennials who were new to the job, each of them in the very same role. One of them arrived ready to change the world with the go-to catchphrase of “let’s do something different.” And honestly, I get it. Coming into a workplace where people have done the same thing for years, even decades, can be really frustrating, especially when you know they could do it better, with less churn and a higher payoff. Why won’t these old people just use Google docs? Why does everything have to be a meeting? What’s with this in-office policy?
This first boss made a lot of changes that I understood. But as a coworker among a group of people who ran the gamut when it came to ages and time on the team, I wanted to pull my boss aside and say, “Please, stop. They’re going to eat you alive. You’ve got to slow down.”
Contrast that with the boss who replaced this person (a mere two years into his tenure). This second boss came in, and one of the first things he said was, “I’m going to spend my first year listening and learning before I make any major changes.” And that’s what he did. He asked a lot of probing questions to understand why things were the way they were, and he watched and listened. The next year, he could speak to specific systems, processes and teams with a working knowledge, and the key stakeholders felt respected and understood, even when he told us something we didn’t like.
If you’re a millennial in executive management, the cards are probably stacked against you to start. Some people will need to be convinced of your abilities and of the fact that you have their best interests in mind, and one of the best ways to do that is by demonstrating humility and a willingness to learn. Take your time and earn their trust: It will be worth it in the end.
Set Boundaries Early On—and Maintain Them
It’s probably clear that I am not a Chief Executive Anything, but I do know that one of the hardest parts of leadership for me is the artificial distance it can create between myself and the people I’m leading. It can be tough to go from being a friend to being a manager or to manage people who are your same age, if not older. One of the best things you can do for yourself and for your team is to set healthy boundaries and uphold them.
Managers certainly are not parents, and their employees are not their children, but the latter two do have something in common: They feel safer when they know what the rules and limits are. People want to feel like the person in charge knows what they’re doing, and so your employees will be looking to you to set the tone. That might involve something as small as the dress code or something bigger, like how complaints are responded to or how tricky accounts are discussed and managed. If you waffle in these matters or you go back on things you’ve said, people will justifiably feel lost and confused. Setting boundaries and communicating them clearly is professional and strategic—not to mention the kind thing to do.
You Are Allowed to Ask for Help
Am I repeating myself? Maybe a little bit, but this is important. Setting a firm boundary or making a big shift in policy does not mean you never ask for help or change your mind. Maybe you aren’t new to the company, but, by virtue of your age, you are certainly pretty new to executive management. The folks who’ve been around longer than you won’t always be right, but a lot of the time, they will! Ask for help. Solicit their advice. Doing so demonstrates a desire for growth, not some secret incompetence. And if you receive guidance that makes you second-guess a decision you’ve made, sit with it. Talk about it. Ask around. If it comes time to undo a change you’ve made, explain what’s motivating your actions, and people will value your transparency.
In that same vein, you need to surround yourself with people who can offer insights you can’t get on your own. That means a mentor, for sure, who can offer the wisdom of experience, but it can also mean a peer group of similarly aged managers who are much more likely to “get” what you’re going through. Join a club for young executives or use your connections to drum up coffee dates and Zoom meetups. The C-Suite can get lonely, but it doesn’t have to be, and when you find people who understand your daily struggles, the shared burden becomes a lot lighter.
Believe In Yourself and Take Your Time
It’s cheesy, I know, and there’s no getting around that, but it’s also true. You’ve got to believe in yourself. Everybody on this planet was young once. Everyone has had to be the new kid on the block or the freshman on the varsity team. You will grow into your role, and people will get used to your leadership. You didn’t make it to this point by accident, and the same intentionality and dedication you’ve shown up to now can continue to guide you to success. Listen, ask questions, be humble and work really hard. You’ll get there, and there’s nothing lazy or entitled about that.
If you find yourself wanting a little extra career development to feel confident in your new executive management role, check out the various Management & Leadership Certificate options through UT Austin’s Center for Professional Education.